Don’t get me wrong. I love living in Colombo. I love living in Colombo so much that my husband and I (whilst living in the UK) visited Sri Lanka on holiday, and refused to go back. I could talk about the sunny beaches, the delicious food, the strong sense of loyalty, love, and ‘home’ that we were filled with that caused us to make this decision, but I wont. Because it’s easy for us to talk about why Sri Lanka is so awesome, and smugly post it on Facebook whenever Sri Lanka makes it to a Top 10 travel list.
I am here now, instead, to talk about something that I am faced with every day while living here: Street Harassment.
Like the multitudes of women living in Colombo, I frequently walk or take public transport by myself to a number of places. Unlike the multitudes of women living in Colombo, however, my choice to do so stems from living abroad for a lot of my adult life, and simply finding public transport (including Tuk Tuks) easier to use than wrestling with the scary driving experiences of living in this city.
And, very much like the multitudes of women that travel on their own in Colombo, I have faced, and continue to face, some sort of harassment. Daily. Yes, you read that right— Daily.
What has really led me to discuss this, however, are the reactions I get from people (men and women, but well, mostly men) when I relate my various stories of harassment to them. Let me outline a few—
- “So, where was your husband when this happened?” Erm, excuse me, I don’t know if you realised this, but I am a grown woman in my late 20s. I have lived on my own. I run my own company. It’s, quite frankly, extremely insulting to expect that I should be accompanied by my husband everywhere I go. And let’s leave ego aside, what about all the women who don’t have husbands, or brothers, or fathers who are able to drop everything they are doing to simply to walk with them to the corner shop to buy some bread?
- “Time to get a car, no?” So, we recently have purchased a car, but I still do use public transport when it’s convenient for me to do so. This response saddens me mostly because it is hardly a solution for the thousands of women in Colombo who can’t afford the luxury of their own vehicle (And don’t get me started on the harassment that women drivers receive anyway).
- “Don’t worry about it honey, just take it as a compliment!” Thanks, dude. I’ll remind you to take it as a compliment the next time some random guy asks you to have sex with him. Oh wait, man-on-your-high-horse, you’ve never had to face something like that, have you?
- “It was probably what you were wearing” Honestly, of all the responses I get, this one has got to be the worst. While yes, walking on the road, say, in my gym clothes, does definitely increase the level of harassment I face, what I wear when I am cat called, gestured at, sung to, and tried to be run over for kicks (more on that later), is usually what I (and many working women in Colombo) typical wear to work— some sort of trouser and blouse combination.
Of course, it must be said, that in a perfect world (or even just a decent world) what a woman wears should have no bearing at all. After all, it is every person’s basic right to wear whatever he or she prefers, be it covered up, or stripped down. I have and always will be a firm believer that it isn’t anyone’s place to dictate what a woman (or a man, but no one ever tells a man that it’s indecent for him to wear shorts right?) should wear.
But I digress. This is not my point. My point is that women get harassed regardless of what they wear. And blaming women for the harassment they receive just perpetuates our age old tradition of victim blaming. (God forbid men are able to control themselves when they see a woman walking on the streets wearing a short skirt. I mean, it must be so very, very hard for them to NOT ask her to go home with them).
So to all those who claim that the harassment I receive on a daily basis has to do with what I wear (and less to do with moral and mental capacities of my harassers), challenge accepted.
I have decided to document what I wear, and the responses I receive on the street.
Because somehow, my word that I have received as much harassment wearing a baggy jeans and t shirt as I have, say, a short dress, is usually received with an secretive eye roll and a “yeah right.”
Because we women get leered at, and groped, joked about, and marginalised regardless of what we wear.
- Tuk Tuk slowing down and honking repeatedly.
- “Ay hinawak naththey?” (Why aren’t you smiling)
- “Hello… Hello? Koheda yanney?” (Where are you going?)
- “Ah nangi!”
- Tuk tuk randomly served into me as I was walking (a common form of harassment that I have faced, which I suppose is designed to get a rise out of the victim)
- “Enavada maath ekka?” (Will you come with me?)
- “Sexy”
- “How much, ah?”
- By a policeman, to his policeman friend, as I was walking by “Sha! May balanna ko?” (Look at that)
- A car honked at me, slowed down, and followed me for a while
- A van full of boys near Royal College (and bearing a Royal College sticker on the van) “Sha!” “Hooo!” and “Sexy.” (I’d like to think they were talking about my super cool new running shoes, but I feel I might be mistaken)
I feel a few disclaimers are in order here:
- First, this is by no means the worst harassment I have received over the years. I could share some horror stories, but the purpose of this exercise is mainly to shed some light on the common misconception that what a woman wears is to blame rather than the mentality of the harasser.
- These are honestly the comments I have received (give or take an occasional word) when wearing these exact same outfits, over the last few weeks.
- I was a sociology minor, and I understand the importance of adjusting for variables. This is by no means a scientific study, but simply a snap shot of what I, and many women, face on a regular basis.






Dear mandy, when reading your story i stopped and cried first for a bit. 3 years ago i left sri lanka for the same reasons. I tried for almost 5 years to adapt, ignor and stand above the situation. I failed….i refused to live in a bubble and just take the car. I wanted to be part of society but this unfortunatly came with being harrassed, grabbed and followed by complete strangers. I hope your article has effect. That people read this and support women and people in general herrased on the streets. I love sri lanka and pray that one day it will actually develope on this level.
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This is so true. Not only the women who take public transport or who walk on the roads, these harassers take a dig on us who drive our own vehicles too. I have experienced it several times;once while driving I had stopped on a traffic light and a bunch of guys knocked on the bonnet of my car and waved and said “Hi nangi..”. Some other day I was driving behind a lorry and I was trying to overtake him, where a couple of guys were seated behind. And they were continuously laughing at me and once I overtook them they were screaming saying “Hoooo… akka.. Bye…”
These monkeys should be punished by the law. But in a country where larger scale rapists are protected by politicians how can we expect these perverts to be punished?
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I left srilanka recently and moved to Ausi, i feel the difference actually u can call it Im extreamly relaxd on this case, I used public transport as a student and used my own car as a wife, over those 15 years I have experinced street harrasment in various ways, and sorry to say that this is spread all over the western province, im a women from Negombo.. and its a one resone why I made up my mind to leave my beloved homeland, I needed freedom.
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http://www.metaspoon.com/everlast-peru-harassment-women-mom/?fb=501M2i1d3039a2&utm_source=501M2i1d3039a2
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My 55 year old mother walked past Thurstan grounds in sweatpants and a t-shirt and 15 year old boys commented ‘sha’, ‘sexy bum’, ‘very nice’.
Honestly, let’s get their principals involved. Tell them to start teaching their kids to respect women if they want to gain any respect themselves.
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This country is going to hell. I am really sorry to be living amidst such people. I don’t know if this will mean anything or not but id like to apologize to you and all the women who had to and who are still going through these harassments daily.
Narrow minds created by the culture of our people and having no heart have brought us here today.being a guy in middle class I have associated with almost all kinds of guys and I am disgusted at how most of them see women. Some of them are relatives and friends. I am ashamed.
people in this country need change. Need a change of thinking.they need to be taught that before we are divided by race, caste, and Gender, we are all humans. Males shouldn’t have dominance over women. No one should have dominance over anyone.no one deserves to be harassed by others for their sexuality, gender or the way they dress.
While I do everything I can to change these things in anyway I can I apologize to all women who go through harassment.
WE ARE ALL HUMAN
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I as being a androgyny.. the fact is they dont know im a boy but my looks are more like feminine and I dont act too girly.. I have gone through your experience but in a opposite way. I just imagined if I was originally a girl, how much pressure that I would have yo go through.
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Finally someone said it! I used to get harassed in the worst possible filth even going to school in my uniform. And for as long as I could remember. Way before my legal age. I’ve found that publicly confronting these donkeys is the best method coz they are all bloody spineless wimps. More women should stand up for themselves and publicly embarrass these jack asses. Otherwise this is not going to change.
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